


The 'Fake' First Date

by Shapeshiftinterest



Series: Mao Event Fics [5]
Category: Mao Mao: Heroes of Pure Heart (Cartoon)
Genre: Fake Dating, M/M, Mixed Prompts, Surprise Kiss, day 3: first date, day 7: one milkshake, theme event fic, valentines day, when a guy steals stuff for you but also steals your heart
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-15
Updated: 2020-02-17
Packaged: 2021-02-28 01:00:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,638
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22735252
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shapeshiftinterest/pseuds/Shapeshiftinterest
Summary: Rufus and Reg fake date to get free stuff on All Heart's Day
Relationships: Coby/Tanner (Mao Mao), Reggie/Rufus (Mao Mao)
Series: Mao Event Fics [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1579606
Comments: 4
Kudos: 24





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> not a gift exchange but still hosted by maomaosmother on tumblr
> 
> day 3: First Date
> 
> day 7: One Milkshake
> 
> big thank you to @zephyrous for beta reading this chapter!!

Rufus was sweating. He wanted to kick his past self. Sure this would have been a great con if they’d been partners for a while, but they’d only started working together a few months ago.

Damn it all! The waitress was waiting for their next move. Think, Rufus,THINK!

-Earlier That Day-

“We’re in luck, Reggie,” Rufus said, gleefully rubbing his paws together. “It’s All Heart’s Day, and that means couples discounts galore.“ Reg watched as the fox spun in a circle, throwing his arms in the air and grinning at the idea of all that basically free stuff. 

“I didn’t have anyone to do this with previously, but now that you’re here we can put my plan into motion!“

“Whaddaya mean?“

“I _mean_ , my dear Reg, that we can dupe all those store owners into thinking we’re a couple so that we can take advantage of the discounts,” he said, turning to look at the other and slicking his ears back with a paw.

“Ooooh. Wow Rufus! That’s really smart,” Reg clapped.

\-------------

The pair had taken a few minutes to go over their story (first date as boyfriends after being friends for years) before setting off into town. The first few stores had been easy. A hug here, a hand on the shoulder there, and bam! free samples and Heart’s Day couple coupons.

At one point Reg had pointed out a cloth stand (unfortunately no discounts) and distracted the vendor so he could sneak over and swipe a bolt. They decided on cutting some for themselves, turning the cloth into matching scarves and saving the rest to sell later. 

Rufus was so impressed at the gesture and the little detail to add to the con that he almost swooned a little. HA! Truly a raccoon after his own heart.

He’d been so giddy about his ploy that he’d forgotten they’d probably need to practice their couple act past just saying they were on a date. 

They’d been walking across the street when Rufus noticed the store’s promotional sign. 

[Come to our cafe! Heart‘s Day Special: Couples get 75% off if participating in Cutest Couple Photo Contest! Try our free Forever Love Milkshake ($25 coupon for future use if finished in 10 minutes)]

Not one to waste such an opportunity, he alerted his partner in crime with a subtle nudge, nodding his head in the direction of the cafe. 

\-------------

~ _ding a ling_ ~

“Hello, dear customers~ Welcome to Cafe Ruvia. How may I help you today?“ a waitress greeted them. She grinned wolfishly, tail swishing lazily behind her.

“Ah, yes, we’re here for the Heart’s Day Specials-”

“Oh?“

Rufus’s eye twitched, but his smile stayed in-tact. He hated being interrupted.

“But where’s your partner?“ she asked, craning her head to look around him.

“Pssst Rufus,“ Reg whispered behind his hand, shuffling over to tug at his jacket. “That milkshake is HUGE!“

They both watched as another waitress set a Forever Love Milkshake in front of an already seated couple. The glass looked to be about a foot high, not counting all the whipped cream and toppings.

Rufus turned back to the girl in front of them and put his paw on Reg’s back, pushing him forward for her to see. “ _This_ is my partner, miss...,” he squinted at her name tag, “Charlotte.”

She narrowed her eyes at the pair. _Hmmm_. They certainly _looked_ the part. But then again, there were a ton of people pretending to date just for free stuff, especially on Heart’s Day. Her smile widened, deciding to test them a little.

“Haha, my mistake. I thought you were just friends.“ The waitress held up a camera, ignoring Rufus’s scoff. “If you’re participating in our Cutest Couple Photo Contest it’s mandatory to take the picture before coming in. Please step this way sirs.“

-Present-

And now the two were being stared down by a waitress with a camera. Ugh. She was probably trying to test if they were an actual couple or something. 

Rufus wasn’t sure what to do. Sure he could flirt and flaunt at a moments notice and Reg was easy to talk to, but it wasn’t like they were particularly close or anything.

“Are you sure y’all are together?“ she asked, raising an eyebrow.

“I-“

“Sorry miss, my boyfriend’s kind of shy about PDA.“ Rufus and Charlotte turned to look at Reg in surprise. “I asked him out a few weeks ago. Thought if we had matching scarves it’d make us look more couple-y,“ he laughed, moving in to hug said ‘boyfriend‘ before pulling away to hold his paw.

Rufus’s eyebrows went up. Apparently his new accomplice was skilled at improv, how unexpected!

“Is there anything we need to do for the picture?“ Reg asked, looking up at the waitress. Charlotte giggled behind the paw not holding her camera.

“Just a kiss is all. Any kind is fine though if it makes it easier for your guy,“ she winked.

Rufus’s tail bristled. He didn’t really like being seen as the shy type but he guessed he’d have to suck it up for now. 

Reg nodded, lifting his arms in a ‘pick me up’ motion. The waitress adjusted her camera and smiled. “Say Cheese!”

Well this wasn’t too big of a deal. Rufus leaned in for a forehead kiss- only for Reg to grab him by the scarf and pull him down for an actual one. Oh. _Oh my_.

“Mmph?!” he squeaked, eyes snapping open right as Charlotte snapped the picture. It was a tremendous effort not to chuck the raccoon at her smug little face afterwards.

“It came out wonderfully! I’ll just put this on the voting board and someone will come seat you in a moment~“

\-------------

“Reg that was brilliant! How did you come up with that story so quickly?“ he asked, pulling Reg’s chair out.

“There’s a character like that in the game I’m playing right now.”

They talked a bit more before waving down one of the waitresses and deciding to do the milkshake challenge before eating. It was much bigger in person, about half a head taller than Rufus and dressed to the nines in what seemed to be every topping under the sun.

It didn’t feel like they’d be able to finish it, but halfway through the time limit Reg had gotten a second wind. He practically inhaled the rest of the milkshake. 

Unfortunately they didn’t win the picture contest. That was gifted to some kind of snake-orangutan hybrid (did they even count as a couple or ???). 

Rufus scowled at Charlotte as she pranced over with a little extra pep in her step. _Tch_.

“You didn’t win but it’s still a cute pic right?“ she handed the item over to Reg "Come again soon!"

“Thank you!“ he waved back as they left the café. “She seemed nice.”

Rufus huffed and crossed his arms. “About as nice as a cactus.”

“Aw cheer up Rufus,“ the raccoon took something out of his hat. “At least we have some of their silverware.“

He took one look at the stolen utensils and back to Reg before bursting out into laughter.

“Oh Reggie, I think this is the start of a beautiful partnership,” he said, wiping a tear from his eye.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter 2 is a year to a few years in the future


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> fast forward a couple of years to Rufus trying to ask Reg out for reals this time 
> 
> there’s just one problem...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> prompt mix:
> 
> day 5: spring bouquet
> 
> day 9: chocolate boxes
> 
> day 14: I love you

Flowers? Check.

Chocolates? Check.

Both either stolen or bargained for a lower price? Check.

Rufus took a deep breath, checking his reflection in the window and smoothing down his scarf.

He was going to ask Reg out today.

___________

Stepping into their hideout he could see the raccoon sunning himself by the window, lazily pressing the keys on the Switch.

“Reg?“ He stepped closer, gifts behind his back.

“Oh hey Rufus, happy anniversary.“

Rufus froze. 

Anniversary?

What anniversary?!? Wait, Reg was still talking.

“-thought we could just stay in this time instead of doing a con this year, whaddaya think?“ Blue eyes looked up at him expectantly.

“I- uh, y-yes? A night in sounds lovely Reg.“ His response was met with a beaming smile. Maybe he could toss the gifts out before Reg could question him. Said partner was about to turn his attention back to the video game before-

“What’s that?“

Darn it.

“What’s what?“

“ _That_. Behind your back.”

“They’re-”

“Are those for me?“ Reg asked excitedly. He scrambled up to hop over to his friend, Switch forgotten. “Aw Rufus, you shouldn’t have.“ he said, tucking the flowers under his arm and shoving himself face first into the box of confectionaries.

Rufus was still trying to understand what Reg had said before. He didn’t remember asking the shorter criminal out or vice versa. What did he mean by anniver-

And then it clicked. Reg must have thought that their ‘first date’ had been a con 2 years ago. Wait, did that mean they’d basically been going out since that time?? 

HE COULD HAVE BEEN DATING THE OTHER INSTEAD OF FREAKING OUT OVER A CONFESSION?!?!?!?

Rufus looked down at Reg. He’d finished scarfing down all the chocolates except 1, which he held out to his partner. 

Rufus plucked it from his paw and tossed it up, snapping the treat in midair. 

“Thank you Reggie,” he said, making up his mind.

“You know I don’t think I've ever said It out loud but. Would you do me the honor of being my partner? In both crime, and romance.” He added hastily.

“Of course silly.“ Reg smiled at him again, the edges of his eyes crinkling as he took his paw. “I’m with you for the long con haha.“

Rufus couldn’t help himself. He swept the raccoon into his arms and twirled them both until they got dizzy.

The two flopped onto the floor, chests heaving from laughter.

When the room finally stopped spinning he leaned over to rest his head on Reg’s stomach. Rufus stayed there for a bit before turning his head, nose nudging at the other’s ribbon.

“I love you Rufus,“ Reg mumbled, tired from the spinning and his previous sunbath.

Rufus’s cheeks felt warm. He smiled, burying his face into Reg’s stomach again and giving it a light kiss.

“I love you too Reggie.“

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter 3 is just me expanding on some of the scenes I skipped over in chapter 1


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> some extra stuff from their ‘date’ that I skipped over in chapter 1
> 
> bonus: wasn’t mentioned in ch 1 but reg gets hit on lol ;P

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> not a gift exchange but still hosted by maomaosmother on tumblr
> 
> day 3: First Date
> 
> day 7: One Milkshake
> 
> day 9: Chocolate Boxes
> 
> 2 extra characters inspired by @swaggentlemenbird‘s OCs

-The Con Details-

“Ooooh. Wow Rufus! That’s really smart,” Reg clapped.

“Thank you, I know,“ he smirked. “Now there’s no time to waste, I’ve had this idea for a while now but the roles depend on the person.” 

Rufus put a finger to his chin and furrowed his brows, slowly pacing around and mumbling to himself. This went on for a few minutes until-

“Oh! Oh! Pick me!” Reg raised his paw, waving it so hard he almost fell off his tree stump. Rufus snapped out of his daze to glance at his companion.

“Yes, Reggie?“

“What if we just started dating?“

“I beg your pardon?“ Rufus asked incredulously. Was Reg really that bad of an actor that he actually had to date Rufus to get into character?! Or maybe he didn’t think he could fake date someone like him. How absurd.

For some reason that didn’t sit well with Rufus. The thought made him uncomfortable. 

“No no! Not like that,“ the raccoon waved his paws in an ‘X‘ symbol. “I mean what if we just tell people we just started dating? Like, friends for a while and boyfriends since a week ago or something.“

  
A lightbulb went off in Rufus’ head. “Reg that’s a great idea!” No one could fault new lovebirds for being a little awkward around each other, even if they had been friends previously. Well, according to this story at least.

-Shops: Couples ‘Discounts’-

“Oh what a cute pair you are!“

“What a nice young man! Your boyfriend is very lucky to have you.“

“You two are just adorable!“

“Shopping with your boyfriend? How sweet! Why, I remember this one time when my husband-“

“Have a Happy Hearts Day!“

The store owners were always overly friendly on holidays like these, but it wasn’t like Rufus was complaining. 

Whenever the pair was approached, he would distract the vendors, leading them away or blocking their view so Reg could lift a few extra confectionaries. 

Heart’s Day coupons and such were nice and all, but the Five Finger Discount was a must for conmen like themselves.

A few times he’d even leaned over with some bogus story of wanting to surprise his ‘boyfriend’ with something special, or asked for help with finding something nice but still cheap. Thus sending the unsuspecting staff on a quest, determined to help a pair of ‘lovers‘ get closer together. Pfff! Suckers.

Rufus touched his scarf, the fabric soft under his fingertips as he chatted with the store owner. 

(Scarf Flashback)

“Psst! Rufus!“ Reg whispered, lightly squeezing the fox’s paw. “Check it out.”

Rufus popped another chocolate into his mouth and looked around, spotting a cloth vendor across the street. They’d decided on holding hands to look more convincing.

“Mmmm, they don’t seem to have any sales,“ he muttered, eyeing a bolt of blue-green fabric.

Seeing what his partner was looking at, Reg let go of his paw and started walking towards the stand, only turning around to give a thumbs up and a wink.

‘Swipe it when I give the signal!’ he mouthed.

Confused, he could only watch as Reg started haggling with the stand owner-

“!!!!“

Only to keel over from a fake heart attack.

Rufus quickly snuck over and snatched the fabric as the raccoon distracted the crowd.

(End Flashback)

“I love your matching scarves,“ said the store owner. 

“Why thank you, my dear Reg went through a lot to get it for me.“

-Shops: Extra before the Cafe-

Rufus... wasn’t sure what he was looking at. 

He’d gone to the bathroom and left Reg to rest with the loot (dropping off most if it at their hideout beforehand), and had come back to whatever this was.

Reg was sitting on the ledge of a fountain with a couple of bags at his feet. And a couple of admirers as well. 

A pink and gray axolotl was sitting awfully close, her tail splashing in the fountain water. In front of them stood another girl, a gazelle this time, and a male tiger.

At first he thought the other was getting mugged, he did have a lot of stuff after all. But after a few seconds he realized. They were flirting with him. Or trying to at least.

The axolotl kept touching Reg’s arm while the tiger’s body language just screamed interest. The gazelle looked more like she was going along with her friends so she didn’t count, but Reg just sat there with a dopey look on his face and smiled.

“Anyways cutie, do you wanna come with us? The guy you’re waiting for probably left or something.“ said the axolotl.

“Yeah! We don’t mind you tagging along, what kind of date makes their date carry everything anyways?” That one was the tiger.

“Leave him alone you guys, he probably went to the bathroom or something.“ Well at least the gazelle had a good head on her shoulders. And enough manners not to badmouth someone she’d never met (not that it wasn’t justified, just for different reasons).

“I’m good, my boyfriend’s back anyways.“ Reg smiled as the trio whipped around to see Rufus scowling at them.

Reg hopped off the fountain and picked up their bags, waddling over to the other without a care in the world. They watched as the fox unfolded his arms to take some of the bags, free paw resting on Reg’s shoulder to pull him closer all while not breaking eye contact.

The two started walking away, but Rufus paused to tilt his head back at them. Narrowing his eyes, he clicked his tongue before turning to catch up with his partner, tail swishing in irritation.

Con or no con, he wasn’t just going to give up his new asset to such crass individuals. 


End file.
